Toonami Year-End Review 2017

Hello Toonami Hopelessly Devoted. Well, another year has passed us by and Toonami continues to stay aloft through Dragon Ball and……not much else, really.

But hey, nuts to the casual viewers, we hardcore fans are thoroughly enjoying all the great shows that Toonami has to offer……right?

Well, in any case, since my mid-year review, we’ve seen the conclusions of two shows on the block. Tokyo Ghoul Root A, the even more poorly-plotted sequel to the grimdark series that wasn’t fooling anyone. And Attack on Titan: Season 2, which mainly consisted of two or three big twists and…a really drawn out rescue mission that changed nothing. Truly, a modern day classic.

So yeah, with only two shows ending over the last six month, this has definitely been a season of long-runners. And, not only that, but Toonami has more shows than ever with its newly-established timeslot starting at 10:30, which proves that cable truly is a dying media outlet if ratings like these can warrant an additional hour of airtime. But anyway, let’s check in on the current lineup.

First up we have Dragonball Super, which just concluded its tournament arc that consisted of Goku and Vegeta beating up Winnie the Pooh, a robot, and a bunch of fanfic characters. And yes, this continuously proves to be the highest-rated show on the block. But hey, at least they brought back Brian Drummond.

Then there’s Dragon Ball Z Kai. More Dragon Ball. Reruns. You can never get enough of ‘em. But it’s almost over (Heavens! What then shall we do?!)

Next there’s Black Clover, the newcomer that has already proven you don’t need an ounce of creativity to be successful in the entertainment industry (and that Japan must have the most lax copyright laws in the world).

Then we’ve got Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders. The 80’s throwback that continues to wow us with its endless villain-of-the-week format (also, what the frig exactly are the Stardust Crusaders?)

Next is Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans, which is…a thing on TV. You know…it’s got that pedophile guy on it.

Also, there’s Hunter x Hunter. You know, the show that everyone has praised for being really engaging and briskly-paced? Well, now we’re stuck in an arc that won’t end until March or April of 2019. Yeah, let that sink in.

Next we’ve got Lupin III, the classic Japanese series that America continues to not give a f**k about. But hey, there was that one week it outperformed Hunter x Hunter in the ratings. Yeah, true story.

Then there’s Naruto: Shippuden and oh god, give up. Just give up. It will never end. It will be here till we’re all dead. Just give up.

And last, but not least, we’ve got the return of the 90’s Toonami classic Outlaw Star! Now completely uncut! (Well, except for that upcoming hot springs episode). Yes, Outlaw Star, the show that has violence, sex, swearing, naked girls, misogyny, and gay stereotypes. And this somehow was billed as a kids show back in the 90’s. Boy, censors back then were really creative.

Oh yes, and let’s not forget the totally forgettable Countdown, the time travel-focused TIE event that made absolutely no sense. And now we’ve got Tom with battle damage! Almost as if he's reflecting Toonami's current status......

But anyway, there’s a new year ahead of us and we’ve got plenty to look forward to, like uh……well, FLCL 2 when/if they ever decide to finish that. And, uh…well, something’s gotta replace Lupin III soon (that or Toonami loses its extra time slot again), and there’s lots of great action anime just waiting in the wings for us, like Mob Psycho 100, and, uh…umm…oh, My Hero Academia, well except the Toonami staff said that’s not likely to happen any time soon. But there’s also, uh……uh…maybe, Made in Abyss? Or, uh…Land of the Lustrous? Or Konosuba? Or the Ancient Magus’ Bride? Has anyone heard of these? ......Or I guess Toonami could always cave and start airing Fairy Tail *Horrific visions of death and misery*

Well, whatever the future may hold for Toonami, I know I’ll be tuning in every Saturday night. Because I am a lonely, lonely, lonely man.

………

Happy New Year Everyone!